Marriage is a big commitment, and not for the faint of heart.
No matter how long the relationship is, once you’ve hit “marriage” status, expect some big changes. Here’s a few of the Good, and Bad things, you might have noticed after you’ve said your vows… and how to deal with them.
Habits Will Come Out
Everyone has their little quirks. Some are cute – whereas some can be downright annoying.
Typically, after you’ve entered the world of matrimony, a certain level of relaxation kicks in. That’s when all the little things come out that You may not have noticed before the guard was let down.
Your loving husband who you could have sworn never had a bodily function, will start letting his belches and farts fly. You might discover your wife cannot replace the empty toilet paper roll to save her life (guilty!). Such is marriage.
During the courtship and serious dating phase of the relationship, people are usually very particular about letting these flaws show. It’s natural, and letting that guard down shows just how comfortable you are.
It’s actually a pretty cool thing.
Just remember that you love them, and try not to complain too much when you find the used Q-tips on the bathroom counter, instead of the trash can (which is right there!).Bad habits aren't worth getting too upset over anyway. Click To Tweet
Once you’ve found The One, it’s true that they say the “Hunt Will Be Over.” You might expect that your husband will keep hitting up the gym on his off days, or your wife will wake up with perfectly executed hair/makeup – but honestly, that’s not always the case.
People let their guard down when they become comfortable, and that means not always dedicating time to look perfect.Usually, because that time is now dedicated to something else-like spending time with the spouse. But humans tend to enter an area of “settlement” once they’ve found their comfort zone. It’s not cause for alarm, or uncommon-it just means they are comfortable, and happy.
Embrace it! Allow yourself to not worry about shaving, or gaining a few pounds. You’re married-which means you’re in love! The appearance factor isn’t that important.
There Might Be More Arguments
Some couples don’t argue or fight about anything – little details, or big issues. But once married, don’t be surprised if that’s when the truth comes out about how your spouse feels about the stuffed armadillo in the den (or even makeup left on the bathroom countertops).
It’s healthier to get it out than bottle it up – and beneficial to your marriage to hash it out sooner than later. While you may not have ever liked your partner’s parents showing up unexpected; Once married, this annoyance can turn into a huge argument. It’s still ok, because again, that comfort level will enable you to be able to stand your ground and speak your peace. If you are arguing and fighting all the time, it isn’t a good sign.
But you and your partner will become more inclined to get it all out once you’ve entered marriage.
Take advantage, and talk it out – you’re married, and that’s supposed to be ‘Until Death Do You Part’. So fight a little about who’s actually walking the dogs more, so you don’t end up divorced over that.
Romance Can be Seldom
The honeymoon stage is a very real thing. And during the dating phase, and the first few months 9or years) of marriage, romance is a very big thing.
But, it’s called a stage for a reason. And everyone’s “romantic season” lasts a different amount of time. It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you aren’t having those candlelit dinners each week. And really-who needs roses delivered every other Friday? Romantic gestures shouldn’t be a requirement – but rather something nice you occasionally do, to show your partner a little love. Plus, we usually shower our partner with the romantic little love notes and over-priced flowers, when we are still engaging in “The Hunt”.
Naturally, when you’ve found your catch, these will subside a little.
There’s nothing wrong with it. You appreciate these things more when they aren’t a constant. And it gives you the ability to kick-start things when married life becomes boring. Unfortunately, life isn’t a Nicolas Sparks novel – reality is eating Chinese takeout and watching Netflix.Accept that and allow your partner to surprise you with Romance when they feel like it. Click To Tweet
Flirting with your spouse is also a good thing, just remember that it’s not a constant requirement when you’re spending the rest of your life together, anyway.
Your spouse married you because they love you. You’ve already caught them, and the effort it takes to keeping them usually isn’t as big as it was to get them.
You Don’t Have To Spend All Your Time Together
When we first start dating, everything revolves around our Boy/Girlfriend. You want to spend every waking moment together! And when you aren’t together, it’s multiple texts every few hours, or even just talking on the phone all night. You anticipate three-day weekends spent in exotic locations, and everyone around you cringes as you then become a “we” couple; ‘Oh We love this, and We hate that’… sorry, but that’s not reality.
Well, not married reality, anyway.
Once you’ve said your vows, and the realization sets in that this is the person you will spend the rest of your life with (the same guy who leaves used Qtips on the counter!), the inevitable will happen. At some point, you’ll want them to just… go… away. For a little while. Too much of anything can be a bad thing, so don’t feel guilty if you find yourself yearning for time with friends separate from your spouse.
Honestly, you live with someone, sleep next to them every night, and deal with all their annoying habits. And that’s all without Romance. That’s a lot of time together!
It’s natural to feel a little suffocated, and want your own space. And don’t feel neglected either, when you notice your Husband might want to go out with the guys after work for a beer – time apart is good. It gives you something to talk about later, and allows you to focus on other things in life.
Then when they do go away on Business for a few days, you’ll actually look forward to an hour long phone convo like the good old days.
Marriage Has It’s Highs and Lows…
But all the normalities like bad habits, petty arguments, lack of Romance, and too much ‘together’ time; is common for any marriage.
Doesn’t mean you’re failing.
And doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t take the plunge with the One you love. Just expect some change once you go from “dating” to “married.”
Change is good-and totally worth it! It makes you appreciate the things love you about them.