Scientists discovered that on average we spend 12.5 minutes daily with our children. Out of this time, 8.5 are for accusation and prohibitions. Only 4 minutes remain for an affectionate communication.
Wisdom.ninja wants you to know how to spend this time in harmony.
The writer Jamie Harrington has come up with 4 questions you should ask your child every day. “Ask your child open – ended questions that can not be answered with a simple ” yes ” or ” no “. This encourages children to describe their feelings and evaluate their actions” he says. “I think it’s important to embrace each new stage as it comes along and not dwell too much on the past or how easy it is to miss!”
So what are these magic questions?
1. How Was Your Day?
If at first the child does not come into confidence and says only “good”, “all right”, etc., it’s not worth pressing him to answer what you intend. Tell him about your day and see that even the most introverted child, begins to share with you what he’s thinking.
That’s the key to these questions; you don’t have to press your kids to answer. If they need to talk, these questions lead them to an opportunity to confide in you.
2. What’s Up With Your Friends?
You can ask specifically about a friend or all friends in general. It is important that the child trusts you and it’s not afraid to tell you everything. You’d be surprised how, when you take the spotlight off of your kid and shine it on friends, your kid will be more likely to talk.
3. Is Everything Good?
Whether the weather is bad or your child has a complicated math exam, sometimes it’s hard to remember nicer things that have happened during the day. It’s necessary to play a game or do something that will shift your bad mood first. Fantasy games will carry you and your son away from the bad thoughts and they will lead to a wave of positive emotions.
4. Do You Need My Help?
We all know how difficult it is sometimes to ask someone for help. It is unlikely that a child who is not used to ask for help in little things, will ask for your help with difficult ones. So start small, offer to settle with him in his room, to help him with his homework. The more you help with little things, the more the possibility that, in the case of serious conflict, the child comes to you, if needed, to receive advice. However, this does not mean you have to start doing everything for the child.
Listen to your child, do not interrupt and do not rush to conclusions and judge him prematurely. Discuss things only when prompted. Do not avoid physical contact, hug your child or take his hand in yours. If you’re in a bad mood or simply do not have the time, be sincere and explain this to him, agree on a later time at which you can be with him.